An Army spouse is a pretty amazing creature. He/she can do so many things and is most often left to do them on his/her own. That concept has been referred to as a “single-married person.” The life of a soldier’s spouse is anything but mundane. There is always an adventure around the bend. So, what is it that makes these creatures so amazing? Who inspires them to do what they do? What is empowerment by their definition? In a nutshell, what makes them say “I AM AN ARMY SPOUSE, HEAR ME ROAR”?

Sarah, an Army wife of six years says her most empowering experience happened when her family was stationed in Germany and her husband was deployed to Iraq.  She decided to go to the States for a visit.  She drove 3 1/2 hours from their post to Frankfurt to catch a military (MAC) flight.  She had to wait over 12 hours with her 10 month old to find out if she’d even made the flight. She and her son climbed into the giant C-17 and strapped into the cargo seats.  She describes it as daunting and thrilling all at once.  They flew 12 hours to get to the Air Force Base which was 2 hours from her parent’s house.  Then, they did it all over again to get back to their home in Germany. She says she was so nervous being around so many strange Airmen and Soldiers. When she finally got home, she couldn’t help but step back and marvel at what she was able to accomplish on her own.

Army wife Heather’s moment came in changing her car battery during her husband’s deployment. “My vehicle needed a new battery. So I purchased a new one and replaced it. I’m feeling good. Then, due to the negligence of one of my sons, that battery was drained and I had to jump start my Suburban with my husband’s truck–and I didn’t get electrocuted or blow anything up!”

For most Sarah’s experiences would be more than just empowering it might be too much to undertake. That’s why it’s good to know that empowerment comes in many different forms. To some it can be as simple as figuring out something they would normally have had to ask for help with such as putting together a desk, mowing the lawn, or cleaning the garage. It doesn’t have to be miraculous to everyone; it’s all relative.

In these stories, empowerment seems to come naturally to the Army spouse. In speaking with spouses about what allows them to gain this strength and bravery to tackle such “assignments” you find that they are sometimes utilizing more than just their inner strength and determination.

New Army spouse Melissa says she relies on the encouragement, knowledge, and mentorship of those that have come before her. She seeks information from those just like her, only experienced. Many spouses turn to online venues such as message boards for support and encouragement. Mike, an Army husband for seven years says, “When my wife is deployed I lean heavily on the Family Readiness Group (FRG). They are an excellent source of support and information.”

Mentorship, social media/networking, or the FRG, the general consensus is developing a network of people and resources on which you can rely is key. It is unrealistic for a spouse to automatically and immediately know the ins and outs of military life. Having the courage to research and find the resources and information is empowering in itself. Once armed with the information these spouses, no matter how seasoned they have become, have the ability and the information to gain mastery over their lifestyle.

All would agree, empowerment, to an Army spouse, is doing and succeeding at something outside of your comfort zone. That moment that you say “I AM AN ARMY SPOUSE, HEAR ME ROAR” is a moment you will always remember and celebrate. It is the moment you felt you made your own choice, acted on it, and gained mastery over your own affairs.

Hippity-hoppity Easter is on its way! To gear up for this fun holiday I’ve gathered some fun and playful ideas for you to remind your soldier that spring has sprung! Hoppy packing!

Personal Touches

• Picture of you, your kids, or your dogs with Easter bunny
• Pictures of past Easter celebrations
• Hidden Easter egg puzzle/maze
• Easter trivia (download some off Google)
• Easter drawings or crafts by your children

Decorations

• Easter basket
• Cascarones
• Line the box with green plastic grass or basket filler
• Plastic Eggs (filled with candy or love notes)
• Stuffed baby duck or bunny rabbit
• Easter window clings
• Easter confetti
• “Happy Easter” banner
• Pastel colored balloons
• Pocket bible (if your soldier is religious)

Food

• Homemade sugar cookies shaped like Easter eggs
• Peeps
• Pastel M&Ms
• Jelly beans
• Reese’s egg
• Cadbury crème eggs
• Pickled eggs
• Easter “canned” ham
• Fixin’s for Easter dinner – instant potatoes, canned pineapple, canned yams, rolls, etc.

Fun

• Easter egg coloring kit – the kind that need water only (no vinegar) – if they’re close to a chow hall they will boil them up some eggs
• Ready-to-Grow plant (it is spring, after all!)
• Pastel colored silly string
• Silly putty (egg shaped)
• Easter coloring pages
• Easter movies – “It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown”, “Here Comes Peter Cottontail”,

Another great idea is to theme an Easter basket towards something your soldier loves and send it on its own. This allows the baskets to be personalized.  Some examples include: a sports basket – baseball cards, sports magazines, ball game snacks, etc. or a gamers basket – a game for their favorite gaming system, cards and dice, and game night snacks.

The St. Patrick’s Day custom came to America in 1737. That was the first year St. Patrick’s Day was publicly celebrated in this country, in Boston.

Today, people celebrate the day with parades, wearing of the green, and drinking beer. While all of those things can’t take place “over there” for your soldier you can create him/her a wonderful holiday care package to make the “first green of spring” a little greener for them!

Personal Touches

• List of why you’re so “lucky” to have your soldier in your life
• Pictures of past St Patrick’s day celebrations
• Green t-shirt or green “shower shoes”
• St Patty’s day trivia (download some off Google)
• Shamrock & Leprechaun drawings by your children
• CD of Irish pub songs
• A “Blarney Stone – Kiss for good luck” (a rock from your garden painted green)

Decorations

• Shamrock decorations & leprechaun hats
• Green Face Paint
• Shamrock window clings
• Shamrock Confetti
• Green Bead Necklaces
• Green Balloons
• Green Christmas lights or shamrock shaped lights
• “Kiss me I’m Irish” button

Food

• Green Gatorade
• Green Apple Jolly Ranchers
• Green M&M’s
• Decorated Shamrock Cookies
• Non-Alcoholic Beer
• Shamrock shaped green rice krispie treats
• Gold Coin wrapped chocolate
• Irish Soda Bread
• Canned Corn Beef
• Instant Irish Coffee
• Potato Soup
• Skittles (Taste the “rainbow”)
• Lucky Charms
• Green gum
• Guacamole or Sour Cream & Onion flavored chips
• Andes Mints (with the green center) or Junior Mints
• Individually wrapped microwaveable potatoes
• “Green” tea

Fun

• Green Hacky Sacks
• Package of green colored markers
• Irish Movies – “Far and Away”, “The Departed”, “The Quiet Man”, “Gone Baby Gone

Personal Care

• Irish Spring Soap
• Green dental floss
• Green toothbrush

There are regular tax questions:

What are the new changes to tax law?

What can I deduct?

Who can I claim?

Then there is an entirely new set of questions because you’re a spouse of a service member:

How do I file our joint return with my service member deployed?

What state do I file my taxes in?

What benefits are we allowed as military?

To answer most of the commonly asked questions the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has an Armed Forces’ Tax Guide available for download – IRS Publication 3, which summarizes many important military-related tax topics. Publication 3 may also be ordered by calling 1-800-TAX-FORM (800-829-3676).

Prior to 2009 there wasn’t much relief for military spouses. They generally had to pay income taxes to the states where their spouses were stationed. Under the Military Spouses Residency Relief Act signed into law on November 11, 2009, military spouses can choose to be treated as if they still lived in their previous state. That could generate big savings if their previous state has lower tax rates — or no income tax at all.

Tax laws vary from state to state, so you and your spouse will need to weigh the tax and filing benefits before selecting the state that you will file. Some other factors that could also influence which state to pick; voter registration, auto registration, in-state college savings plans and in-state college tuition savings, car, home or other insurance, wills and estate plans, powers of attorney, and spouse’s business/professional licenses.

If your spouse is deployed, remember that you have 24/7 access to W2 and other pertinent tax information via MyPay. Additionally, typically joint returns must be signed by both spouses. However, if your service member is away from home, they can grant you power of attorney to file a joint return on their behalf.

Fortunately, most military installations offer tax help to service members and their families through the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program (VITA). VITA’s certified community volunteers are trained by the IRS and understand military-specific tax issues. Those services can be accessed for free via your local installation. You also have the option of filing yourself, also at no cost with expert help,  via Military One Source with H&R Block at Home®.

Other resources for reference:

Ten Tips to Ease Tax Time for Military Personnel – IRS

Top Tax Tips for Military Personnel – Military.com

Summary of S. 475, Military Spouses Residency Relief Act, Public Law No. 11197

Red hots or their favorite candy

Handwritten love poem or song

Handmade Valentine

Hershey’s kisses and hugs

“Hot Pants” – boxer shorts with kisses and hugs painted on them

Lotions & perfumes

A tiny bow & arrow with a note from Cupid

Fuzzy dice

Picture book or frame

Steamy love letter

A favorite romantic movie

Marshmallows with a note that says “I’m always on cloud 9 when I’m with you!”

Fuzzy pink, red, or black robe

Bath & Body products

Handmade CD of love songs

Warm and snuggly new red bath towel

Valentine themed stuffed animal

Personalized M&Ms in red, pink and white

Red or pink candle

Hot cocoa

Homemade heart shaped sugar cookies with red sprinkles

Anything red – red jello, red rice krispie treats, etc.

Silk or gold dipped red roses

“I love you” pin

A romantic book

Handkerchief, pillowcase, or other racier article of clothing sprayed with your scent

Handmade romantic fortune cookies (grab a box at your local craft store)

A pillow made out of fabric printed with a picture of you

Love coupons that they can redeem

A puzzle out of a picture of the two of you

A Victoria’s Secret or Mens Fitness magazine with your face glued on all the models

A “This is Why I Love You” journal

A “Naughty and Nice” journal – one side nice normal things, the flip side naughty things

Another idea is to send a gift package of inexpensive but meaningful items. Is your love always without a pen or do they seem to forget something all the time? What about all of their favorite foods or movies? Send gifts that will let them know you’re really listening to them and thinking about them!

Whatever you do make it special and meaningful to you and your loved one. Anything you send is sure to get a great response because it’s from the heart. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Maybe it is because I am knocking on the door of “middle age” that I have had this epiphany, but, I’ve come to realize that I can find a whole lot of happiness with just a little bit of self acceptance. Some things are easier to accept than others like the fact that I am 5’4’ and I’m never going to get any taller. Sure, I can spend thousands on cute high heeled shoes or I can just accept the world as I see it (which just so happens to be right below your chin).

Ok you got me that was an easy one to accept. It was a bit harder to come to terms with the number on the scale and the height and weight chart that assures me that my height and that scale number is not a good match.  I have learned that resolving to do some big makeover weight loss production with lofty goals of super models dancing in my head was not only asking for failure it was completely unrealistic. I could go insane at the gym four hours a day seven days a week feasting on protein shakes and carrot sticks or I could be content with a moderate schedule of one hour four days a week and keeping myself a comfortable healthy weight by choosing fruit over French fries.

The same is true in other areas of my life. One year I resolved to keep our house clean. I was going to reach this goal by setting daily chores and doing a full family-style cooperative cleaning mission every weekend. This turned into a stressful time of me lining my family up like little soldiers and barking orders for all of Saturday. Fail. Instead, I accepted the fact that a little bit of “out to dinner” funds towards a house cleaner could give me a clean house, time to go to the commissary to buy the food for a home cooked meal, and a happy family to enjoy it.

I remember the year that I resolved to build stronger friendships. Each week I tasked myself with goals of thank you notes, “how are you doing?” emails, and building a Facebook database of every connection known to man. The result was friends who thought I might be dying and  a Facebook profile page full of people I didn’t even like in high school.

Then there was the year I chose my resolution to be a better listener. This is always something I work towards as a personal goal and that year I had had one too many people make the comment that I talked too much. Taking those comments to heart, I spent the first few weeks of January practicing to shut my mouth and open my ears. I ended up with a bunch of concerned faces and questions about whether or not I was “okay” because “you’re so quiet”. I really don’t know what I was thinking. I am a talk radio show host, of course I talk too much. It’s my job.

The irony of life is that the grass will always be greener on the other side. No matter where you are or who you are, there will always be something you want to fix. I think the Serenity Prayer says it best:

Grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Join me in my protest, don’t resolve to fail.  Make 2012 the year you are “UNDER CONSTRUCTION”. The year you take constant manageable and sustainable strides towards being the best person you think you can be and amazing strides in accepting the person you are already.

The Army is no stranger to the volunteer workforce. At some point in your Army “career” we can bet that you either volunteer or get volun”told” as I like to call it, to do something. But, what if you are the leader of volunteers? What can you do to make sure they feel appreciated? What can you do to recognize their contributions? Here are 52 fabulously fun and creative ways to recognize your volunteers all year long. They’re so easy to do and the rewards are two-fold. You’ll have more productive and happier volunteers just because you took the time to say “thanks”.

Week 1: Give your volunteers a “Round of Applause.” Cut a piece of paper into a circle with a photo of people cheering that lists to, from, why, and the date. To say thanks to anyone give them a “round”.  After a person collects 3 of them, they turn them in for a prize.

Week 2: Provide your volunteers with a babysitter certificate or free childcare.

Week 3: Make a volunteer recognition board to display somewhere publicly that your team (and others) can all see it. As each person makes a contribution give them an “Atta-Boy” or “Atta-Girl” via the board.

Week 4: Have a team meeting and brainstorm together!

Week 5: Send a Valentine’s Day card using “love” as a theme. (ie I love the work you’ve done).

Week 6: Challenge your team to fill openings by finding new members for your organization. People who are passionate about what they do want their friends to be a part of it too.

Week 7: Start a volunteer of the month program.

Week 8: Give a mini rake with a note telling your volunteer “Thanks for your help raking in the donations.

Week 9: Have a team tshirt made for volutneers to wear. You could even have them design it.

Week 10: Invite your volutneers to help you with policy formation, group rules and regulations. Have each of them weigh in on your group’s mission statement.

Week 11: Give your volunteers a clover and tell them “we’re lucky to have you on our team.”

Week 12: Give each member of your team a flower bulb and tell them “You have blossomed.”

Week 13: Buy each of your team members a soda.

Week 14: Give a mini box of Frosted Flakes cereal with a note that says “You’re Grrrreat!”

Week 15: Write each of your team members a heartfelt thank you note.

Week 16: Give a mirror and say “You’re looking at the world’s best volunteer.”

Week 17: Ask your volutneers what you can do for them.

Week 18: Send volunteers an email pointing out specifically what you appreciate about them.

Week 19: Send your team resources for training and development specific to your mission.

Week 20: Award a plaque to key volunteers.

Week 21: Give your volunteers additional responsibilities (provided this is a good thing).

Week 22: Nominate your volunteers for Installation Volunteer Awards.

Week 23: Give each volunteer one hour of your time one-on-one for mentoring.

Week 24: Have an ice cream social.

Week 25: Give a box of Fourth of July sparklers with a note saying “Your talents just sparkle.”

Week 26: Have a special guest come in and do a seminar or informal talk on motivation or other pertinent topics to your cause.

Week 27: Give each volunteer a pair of scissors and say “You’re a cut above the rest.”

Week 28: Make sure your volutneers understand your open door policy and be a real person they can talk to.

Week 29: Make a team or organizational magnet and give one to each volunteer for their fridge.

Week 30: Have a volunteer picnic in the park.

Week 31: Surprise your group with coffee and cake.

Week 32: Make a huge banner full of recognition and place it in a highly visible area.

Week 33: Send a stack of play money and say “Spread the wealth of our organization.”

Week 34: Have a contest and give out fabulous prizes!

Week 35: Have a team meeting and brainstorm together! (yes, I’ve said this before)

Week 36: Praise your volunteers publicly.

Week 37: Make it a point to compliment your team on something they did this week.

Week 38: Send a yo-yo with the note “Thanks for sharing the ups and downs!”

Week 39: Write a letter of recommendation for your team members.

Week 40: Take your volunteers to the movies – or give them gift certificates with popcorn.

Week 41: Give your volunteers a fishing lure with the note “You’re a great catch!”

Week 42: Have an informal get together with your team.

Week 43: Submit a story about your volutneers to the local newspaper.

Week 44: Have a team softball game or other athletic challenge.

Week 45: Create a team scrapbook. Ask for everyone’s input.

Week 46: Give a set of chopsticks with the note “Thanks for learning to use a new tool.”

Week 47: Remind your volunteers how their work fits into the overall mission of your organization. Paint the whole picture of how their efforts are propelling that mission forward.

Week 48: Send a box of Christmas lights with the note “You light up our organization!”

Week 49: Have a “Secret Santa” party.

Week 50: Enlist your “seasoned” volunteers to train new volunteers.

Week 51: Give out service pins and certificates.

Week 52: Give a bunch of goodies wrapped up in a bandana with a note saying “This wraps up another great year – Thanks!”

Additional bookshelf resources for your “volutneer” library:

Volunteers: How to Get Them, How to Keep Them (Paperback) by Helen Little

1001 Ways to Reward Employees (Paperback) by Bob Nelson Ph.D.

The military is so rich in customs and courtesies; it was no surprise when I started asking military spouses for their holiday tradition ideas that the ideas were bountiful! The holidays offer many times to get together with family and friends. From holiday parties to attending holiday programs at local churches or organizations there is always something to do! Here are some great ideas from fellow military spouses that they do with their families.

Countdown Calendar

Your countdown calendar can have a theme for example a “tree” with a new decoration to add each day. You can purchase a pre-made holiday activity calendar or use a basic one with a magic marker and stickers. The point is doing the countdown together. You could also add a fun prize or candy for each day.

Sleep under the Christmas tree

The day you put the final decorations on your Christmas tree have your family camp out underneath its branches. Add something extra special and have hot cocoa, play games, and read holiday stories.

Holiday light tour

Each year tour the neighborhood with your family in search of the best holiday light display. You can each “vote” and pick a family favorite. Spice it up by giving the winning family’s display a plate of holiday goodies.

Christmas cookies

Our family definitely has our favorite cookies. Each year we spend a weekend baking up a storm. Have everyone put one of their favorite cookies on the list and bake up a batch. Cookies can be used as great homemade gifts too! You can even share the “secret” family recipes with each other.

Christmas Eve pajamas

On Christmas Eve everyone gets a brand new pair of pajamas. This is great for the kids as they are excited to get in their pajamas and head to bed to wait for Santa Claus.

Stockings

Whether they are filled by you or by “Santa” stockings are a lot of fun. You don’t have to fill them with expensive treats. You can pick from small everyday needful things like office supplies, toiletries, or even fruit and nuts. But of course they’re fun when fill them with candy and games.

Holiday parade

You’d be hard pressed to find a city or town that doesn’t have a holiday parade. Chances are you can find at least three or four near where you live. Take the family, pack up some goodies like popcorn or hot cocoa, and “vote” on the best parade float or display.

Picture with Santa Claus

Most malls or large retailers have a Santa Claus on hand during the holiday season. Make sure you get your children’s picture each year. It’s a great thing to look back on as the years go by.

Holiday Music or Ornament

Every year purchase a holiday ornament or holiday music CD. It’s a wonderful way to build your collection and the hunt for the perfect one each year is a lot of fun!

Christmas Eve activities

Families are usually pretty talented. Each year have your family showcase their talents in a Christmas Eve program. You can sing together, have a special feast, showcase each other’s talents, or even play a game. It’s a wonderful holiday tradition in which to incorporate most all of the traditions above. What fun!

This holiday season why not add variety to life by hosting a fun get together. If you need a little inspiration I have gathered the perfect “spark”.

Holiday Progressive Dinner: Have a traveling party. Appetizers are served at one house, the entrée at another, and dessert at the last. Have the guests meet at the house serving the appetizer, then travel to the entrée and dessert houses. This is fun for the same group to do each month; the food assignment can be rotated so everyone has a chance to showcase their talents.

Tree Decorating Party: Guests arrive to an empty tree only decked with twinkling lights. They can bring decorations to a certain theme or they can decorate with provided decorations. The host provides the appetizers and/or desserts.

Tree Viewing Party: Similar to a progressive dinner (above), holiday appetizers & favorite spirits are served at all the homes involved. Prizes can be awarded for the best decorated tree voted on by attendees.

A Christmas in the Mess Hall: Have guests wear camo or military uniform/outfits. Decorate with camo fabrics, military related holiday items, and use army boots as tablescapes in camo colors. Serve guests MREs as appetizers before the actual meal.

Toys for Tots: Have a dinner party for charity; tell each guest to bring a new toy to be given to a local toy bank. Decorate with stuffed animals and other toys, and provide a nice meal for the charitable guests.

Winter Wonderland: Decorate with lots of white and silver, fake snow, little flocked trees with twinkling lights, and glittery paper snowflakes. Use elegant table settings and serve a delicious meal, topped with a white cake.

Cookie Exchange: Have guests all bring three or more dozen of their favorite cookies to share. Provide a neat container and allow guests to “gather” cookies to take home with them. The ida is that you come with one type of cookie and leave with multiple. It’s a great way to trade recipes too.

Homemade Crafty Christmas: Have all of the attendees bring a homemade craft item to “trade” and have them share their pattern or instructions as well. Everyone goes home with something hand made for the holidays.

Wreath Making Party: A wreath is a perfect canvas for the creative types. Purchase all of the supplies for the wreaths (either make them by hand by cutting branches from a live tree or purchase a pre-made wreath). Have guests bring ribbons, flowers, ornaments, etc. Provide light snacks and holiday music while you work.

Your guests will not be disappointed in any of these wonderful holiday themes. Have fun with whatever you choose to do, but remember the cardinal rule of inviting your guests during this busy time of the year; give them notice.

Click here for a great resource for invitation making. Don’t forget that invites need to include the basics: who, what for, what to bring, when, where, why, how much, dress, and childcare options.

This is the best time of year to share camaraderie with friends and family. Even though our military lives are hectic it is important that we take time to celebrate our ti

me on this unique journey together. Happy Holidays!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

Santa hat

Stuffed reindeer

Christmas movie

Kid’s craft – paper snowflakes

Fake snow

Fake tree

Lights

Handmade ornaments

String popcorn and cranberries

Tiny wrapped packages (use gum, mints, or small items to go under the tree)

Advent calendar

Picture book (include pictures from past holiday gatherings)

Small wrapped items to the theme of the “Twelve Days of Christmas”

A box of Christmas Cards stamped and addressed to the soldier’s family

Just hear those sleigh bells ringaling….

CD of you (and your children) singing Christmas carols

CD of Christmas music

Jingle bells

Jack Frost nipping at your nose…

Holiday scented candle (pine, cinnamon, baking)

Holiday scented oil

Pine cones (scented)

Now bring us some figgy pudding…

Fresh baked cookies

Eggnog

SPAM (Christmas “ham”)

Sausage and cheese

Holiday RITZ crackers

Mixed nuts (in shell) with a nut cracker

Candy canes

Christmas boxed chocolates

Advent calendar

Holiday coffee & creamer

Hot cocoa or cide

I’ll be home for Christmas…if only in my dreams.

Don’t forget that though your soldier is far from home and needs pampering, you and your children need something to feel connected to him/her too. Craft a tradition for your family such as buying an ornament each year, writing a letter to Santa Clause, hanging a special stocking, or reading a special story and make sure you do it regardless of anyone’s location.  Make every effort to share this tradition across the miles by video-taping, calling, or even having your soldier available via webcam to participate.

Here comes Santa Claus…

Keep in mind special ways to create the perfect “Holiday Gift Delivery System or HGDS”, as Bob Gilead from www.CamoSock.com calls it. Stop by his site and pick up a perfect HGDS in the shape of a stocking made from the fabric of your soldier’s service branch. Be creative and find interesting things online such as a Christmas tree in a tube (search eBay they’re easy to find). Most of all have fun, get the entire family involved, and put your heart into it.  Tis’ the season, but to your soldier you’re the reason any gift is special.

Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a good night!